The Key Difference Between An Overt And Covert Narcissist
The overt narcissist is the easiest to spot. By definition, they take up all the space with their assertiveness, extroverted nature and apparent confidence. So it is natural that they come to be synonymous with narcissism. However, hiding behind the stage, lurking in the shadows, is the ever-quiet, low-energy covert narcissist — the Robin to the narcissist’s Batman, who secretly harbours grandiose plans to take Batman’s place.
Here we see the two sides of the same coin. Grandiosity is one of the traits common to both the covert and overt narcissist. Both believe they are infinitely powerful and capable. However, there is one subtle diversion. One has aligned themselves with the instinct toward life, the other with the deathinstinct.
To Know The Narcissist, Follow The Shame
The overt narcissist dances and prances over their shame, the covert narcissist dwells in it permanently. If you challenge the overt narcissist’s power, they will deflect, repel, ridicule and fight their way out of feeling their shame. The covert narcissist, on the other hand, has no power in the world, save for the fantasies they harbour in their mind. Unlike the overt narcissist, they were never championed and encouraged to shine. Their sense of curiosity, wonder and light was crushed immediately, leaving them drowning in shame, which eventually formed as the permanent, deadened state known as toxic shame.
