The Narcissist’s Twilight Years
A narcissist’s ultimate kryptonite, is time.
The ones who derive grandiosity from their appearance get especially panicked, as every passing year further withers their youthfulness. Some narcissists obsess over their health, swallowing countless vitamins while constantly seeking out the next health fad.
You might hear a narcissist declare: “I’m going to live to a hundred!” Such a mindset comes with all sorts of denial-based behaviours. An ageing narcissist might attempt to jump and skip like a child, risking injury in the process. You occasionally spot an old narcissist frequenting a nightclub or bar, looking to maintain their connection to the youth. A narcissist might also dress decades younger than they are. A tight leather skirt, bright-pink hair or an oversized sports t-shirt on a grey-haired person is a dead giveaway.
Such futile attempts at warding off mortality do not necessarily indicate narcissistic personality disorder. A person might have experienced arrested development in childhood, and continues to dwell in the dissociated purgatory of the past, acting and behaving like a teenager.
Perhaps fear of death is to blame. Many of us have yet to come to terms with our mortality. The mere thought of death sends a shudder through us.
When it comes to narcissists, however, the passage of time has unique stakes at play, along with a certain type of terror.
The Beauty Of Dying Before You Die
For the spiritual psychonaut, an ego death is a beautiful gift from the universe. During an enchanted period in time, your mind goes offline. Who you think you are is eviscerated into the ether. Your past and your future. Your reputation and career. All the worldly things that make you who you are: Gone. All of it. What remains?
Such is the magnificence of an ego death. Without the ability to ‘conceive’ of yourself, everything that you are ‘dies’. In its place, pure consciousness emerges. You notice only yourself. That is, you come to identify with the immortal you who lies beyond your mind and body; your God-Self.
Those who experience an ego death come back with a sense of depth, calmness and inner peace. They also return with their fear of physical death greatly diminished. Why? Because they have peeped into the other side, and it wasn’t as bad as they thought. As a matter of fact, it was wonderful. Now they know the truth.
Ego death comes in various ways. It can be initiated by major crises or breakdowns, psychedelic drugs, and of course, impending physical death. Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, uttered the following last words before his death as he passed over: “Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow.”
That pretty much sums it up.
A Lifelong Battle With (Ego) Death
So what about the narcissist? Could they benefit from a bit of ego death?
