Feeling Alive Again After Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse only takes place if you can be convinced to rewrite the script in your mind about who you are and what your life is about.
We all live with a personal myth; a set of beliefs which outline how we should live, why we should live, and who we are in the scope of society. We usually source this from our family and the world at large.
As children, we possess an overabundance of aliveness, and it is the role of family and society to teach us which impulses are allowed, which we should dampen, and which we should outright kill off.
In a free, empowering family or society, we are given plenty of space and opportunity to express our passion, dreams and energy. We can chase goals, speak up for what we need, make noise, take up space, dance, and more. This is the essence of aliveness; feeling that you have a right to spontaneously express your life energy on your terms.
A narcissist interferes with this process for two reasons:
Your spontaneous aliveness makes you powerful, and therefore difficult to control.
Redirecting your aliveness away from life and toward the narcissist makes you a much more efficient source of narcissistic supply.
The narcissist rewrites your script by engaging you and bombarding you with alleged ‘facts’ about yourself in the form of shaming and fear-mongering. They tell you everything you do wrong, question every decision you make, and ridicule anything that does not fit the myth they have for you. If you do not comply, they give you the silent treatment, triangulate or threaten to leave.
