Dating A Bunny Rabbit: The Age Of The Histrionic
Modern dating is rough. From getting caught in the dopamine trap of dating apps, to competing with thousands of people sliding into your potential lover’s DMs on social media, there is a lot of reason to despair.
With dating apps, people are reduced to being a sexual ‘offering’ among an endless stack of options. As a result, objectification is rampant. Women especially can have hundreds of matches. With unlimited choice, commitment becomes the least desirable option of all.
Narcissism is the 21st century’s new religion. Rather than collectively worshipping one God, or even paganistically worshipping a limited collection of gods, our society is set up for us to worship each other. Social media has created a scramble for narcissistic supremacy, with everyone encouraged to flout their ‘specialness’ by proving how well travelled, financially endowed and adored they are. Perhaps over time, narcissistic power will consolidate into a select pantheon of new pagan gods, with figures like Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump earning their spot. Yet for now, the narcissism epidemic is spreading, and the scramble is on for supremacy.
Less spoken about, is the histrionic epidemic which is emerging in this fast-changing landscape, fuelled by dating apps as well as social media apps such as Instagram. Flooded by endless options of potential lovers, a person no longer sees falling in love as worthwhile. Rather, they fall in love with the idea of themselves, i.e. their narcissistic self, and they also fall in love with the state of being desired.
Finding love leads to vulnerability, accountability, responsibility, and of course, potential heartbreak. When things get frustrating in a fledgling relationship, the mind tends to wander. Even if a person does not actively have a dating app profile, they may still receive private messages online. As the initial shine of their relationship fades and disappointment sets in, the dopamine hit of a new person paying them attention becomes more enticing. This leads many people to cheat, unable to resist the allure of a brand-new, adoring lover.
In other cases, a person may be driven to end the relationship, reassured by the endless options they imagine await them when they are newly single. They set up a dating app profile, and begin to post on their social media more often, flexing their narcissistic self with new outfits, travel shots and photos of them at social gatherings. Eventually, the curious admirers flood in, and the heartache of past relationships fades away.
