5. Wisdom

Wisdom comes by disillusionment.

- George Santayana

How do you know the truth? Is it because someone told you so, or did you confirm for yourself through research and analysis? How do you measure truth? Is it continually evolving, or something static and pure you discover like a rare mineral?

Divinity gives a person absolute certainty that their existence is ordained and self-evident. The uncanny nature of someone’s energy and the purity of their conviction can be enough to convince the world that they embody the truth. This pride bubble can grow to dizzying heights, leading to the eventual psychological collapse of everyone who partakes in it. When power corrupts, what everyone assumed was the ‘truth’ collides with reality, and another truth asserts itself. This is nothing new, it is only the natural order of the universe reinstating itself by enforcing the cycle of life, death and rebirth.

We have all been there. Caught in a state of hubris, our conviction grows ever stronger, before something dramatic rudely awakens us from our hypnosis. Somebody gets hurt, or we lose the support of those around us. Eventually, our perspective shifts just enough to realise that we were living in a pseudo-reality of our own making — or someone else’s. In response, our mind is forced to slow down and absorb the truth that had been staring us in the face the whole time. We finally ‘get it.’

When considering the wise figures in mythology and popular culture, one notices that they never get carried away. What they seem to possess is a strong sense of humility and deliberateness in thinking. It is as though they are anchored to something which gives them uncanny insights into the state of the world. They seem to be ‘weighed down’ by the truth, compared to those inflated by pride who appear ignorant yet light on their feet.

A good leader keeps such a wise advisor in close company. The leader embodies the divine and aims to bring order and prosperity to their world. Yet even they, the one person deemed most legitimate, are prone to making mistakes. And as leader, the consequences can be grave. Because of this, they seek counsel with someone who, while not as ‘divine’ as them, is capable of channelling a quality which they sometimes lose touch with. This trait is the antithesis of pride, while also being something pride cannot survive without.

Shame: The governing emotion of wisdom

Shame is many things. In its mundane form, it is the glue which holds hierarchies together, dampening each person’s ambition enough to ensure cooperation. At its worst, it is capable of crushing and even ending lives. For anyone who has experienced toxic shame, the last thing they would want is a closer look at it. Yet shame is the key to unlocking one’s potential. Like taking the reins of a horse, shame can either bring you to a halt, or it can safely guide you forward as you gain more and more speed.

The dull ache of healthy shame is an indicator of where you stand. You feel it when you compare yourself to others, or when you lack the solution to a problem, or when you mispronounce a word in the language you are trying to learn. A person comes to believe they are inferior when they are continuously shamed over a long period. However, we do not feel shame because we are inferior, but rather because we have hit up against our limits, subjective or otherwise. The question remains: What piece of knowledge is required, what skill do you need or what adjustment must you make before you can evolve to where you hope to be? Shame helps you find out.

Shame, when channelled well, can immerse us in instinctual knowledge which we then adapt to our life. Its heaviness slows us down so we do not get ahead of ourselves. It has the capacity to help expand our knowledge, improve our skills, and deepen our relationships. Like gravity, too much of it immobilises us, not enough of it sends us hurtling out into space, and just enough allows us to productively navigate the world.

When wisdom is disrupted

The wise seem to be in constant touch with the True Self. While shame weighs them down, their slowness of being allows them to carefully tune into the universal truth contained within life energy, also known as ‘the word of God.’ This is only possible when one is centred and has their emotions in a manageable state.

The capacity to tune into inherent wisdom is lost when someone is forced out of their centre. Guilt, fear and toxic shame make it difficult to be in one’s body, which cuts off the capacity for intuition. A person’s centre is their compass, and losing it throws them into psychological vertigo. The result is perpetual confusion and doubt, and rather than trusting their instinct, a person is forced to delegate to others. They believe they are not fit to know the truth, and instead need to obtain it from outside. Their mind can only parrot supposed facts. Wisdom, on the other hand, draws truth from the Self, which contains an unlimited pool of universal knowledge. Above all, the Self holds a person’s true nature, and therefore is the only authority for knowing what is best for that person. The uncentered are quick to forget this. 

Becoming stuck in wisdom

Those who are consistently frustrated in their attempts to grow and be accepted will have their pride wounded, and toxic shame will take over as their primary state. Their life energy is dampened, and rather than engage the world through spontaneous action, they revert to deep analytical thinking and contemplation to ‘work out’ their predicament.

Rejection, manipulation and abuse all harm a person’s pride. Without a connection to the divine, a person carries around a sense of illegitimacy and inferiority into every situation. When toxic shame becomes a state of being, a person cannot align within their Self, and therefore is unable to channel vitality, tenacity and divinity. Spontaneity is lost, and that person lives a life of perpetual despair and conformity. Evolution is a slow process for the person filled with toxic shame. With no vitality to help them evolve, no tenacity to defend and assert themselves, and no legitimacy to carve out a realm of power, all a person has when shamed is their mind. They are like a blunt spear, unable to penetrate the world. They can imagine the possibilities, yet their potential remains a tiny fraction of what it could be. They see the world through a psychological window, growing observant and knowledgeable but having no capacity to do anything with this acquired wisdom. Rather than living life, they intellectualise it and seek to transcend it through the realm of knowledge.

For those trapped in toxic shame, the way out will be partially through knowledge of their obstacles. Yet this will amount to nothing if they do not also act in the flow. If they choose to remain in the realm of wisdom, they may be able to assist others in growing, but they themselves will remain stuck.

When wisdom is established

Wisdom helps us manage the rising complexity which vitality brings into our life. As we evolve, wisdom transfers from the unconscious to the conscious mind, where our knowledge is limited. Therefore, the wise person is aware that while they may have the whole truth within, they will never consciously know it all. Nonetheless, they rest easy, since whatever knowledge they do need can be made available.

At its best, wisdom is applied in the flow of life. A person feels energised and legitimised, and only deviates course when they intuit that it is expedient. The person of healthy wisdom uses idle time to contemplate before returning to the flow to apply what they have learnt. Most importantly, the person of wisdom understands that they do not know everything, and nor will they ever. They remain curious while trusting their intuition, knowing that wisdom will always have limits if not combined with experience and right action. Above all, a person of wisdom is aware that true knowledge goes beyond the mind, and that the analytical brain may not make sense of an experience until long after all is said and done. Such is the depth of wisdom.