Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
The term ‘borderline’ describes a person on the ‘border’ of psychosis; between control and chaos, capable of falling head-first into panic, fury or depression at any time.
The Root Cause Of Borderline Personality Disorder
The trauma which causes borderline personality disorder is as complex as its name: Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or C-PTSD for short. A person with borderline personality is often a child of divorce, with the tension between the parents creating an environment full of hostility, chaos, uncertainty and terror. In many cases, one or both parents have their own personality disorder. Mothers who are narcissistic or borderline themselves often create borderline children.
Such environments are unpredictable, and the child is always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The chaotic parents offer little container within which to feel safe. If the parents are divorced or separated, the child is usually forced between homes. The parents’ moods are often unstable and terrifying to the child, especially when the parent is a borderline or a narcissist. As a result, the child is flooded by negative emotions, unable to regulate how they feel. Their sense of Self shatters, and the child loses continuity in their identity.
The Borderline Mindset
Plagued by Complex-PTSD and lacking a stable role model, the borderline suffers greatly. Their solution is to seek out the perfect love, aiming to regulate their inner turmoil through an ‘ideal’ partner. By establishing love with the perfect person, the borderline can calm their fear and alleviate their suffering through a bright future with a beloved who will never leave them.